


Just Friends

by TTBret



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 01:19:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TTBret/pseuds/TTBret
Summary: It's been three days since the full moon, and Remus is still incredibly sore. Sirius tries to help, but he keeps getting distracted by the scar trailing down Remus' back...He wants to see where it ends.





	Just Friends

Sirius heard the door open and close quietly, shuffling footsteps entering the dorm. He glanced up from his horizontal position, groggy and warm from a much needed, and far-too-quickly _interrupted_ nap. 

Remus plopped down onto his bed, bending down to remove his shoes.

“Thought you were staying after to chat with Minnie?” 

The unexpected voice in the quiet room nearly caused Remus to jump out of his skin. He let out a string of expletives, launching the shoe in his hand towards Sirius with surprising strength. Sirius yelped, rolling to the side as the footwear narrowly avoided colliding with his more sensitive bits.

“ACK! It’s me!” He cried, the surprise-attack chasing away his lingering fatigue. 

“Fucking hell Sirius, what are you doing up here!?” 

“Well I _was_ taking a nap before you came stampeding in to attack me.” 

“Merlin, you’re going to be the death of me,” Remus rasped, clutching his chest. 

“Coming from the prick who just rocket-launched a sneaker at my privates,” Sirius retorted, scooping up the offending weapon and throwing it back at Remus. “Your aim is impeccable, by the way.” 

Remus folded his arms as the shoe flew harmlessly past him, missing its mark by a long-shot. “Far from it, I was aiming for your head.” 

“Huh. So you’re saying your subconscious is drawn to my nethers.” 

The eye-roll that followed Sirius’ statement was nothing short of impressive. “Clearly my subconscious is determined to ensure that you never reproduce.” 

Sirius barked out a laugh, rolling off the bed to face him. “I think I’ve already got that one covered, mate.”

The casual statement caused Remus to falter, pale cheeks flushing. His visible reaction left Sirius breathless, the air rushing out of him in an instant. It had been about a month since he’d admitted he was into blokes – a declaration that had been taken in stride by just about everyone… everyone except for Remus. 

_Remus,_ who had always been so understanding, now flinched every time a boy’s name passed Sirius’ lips. Sirius didn’t know what he had been expecting when he’d confided in the marauders, but it hadn’t been this. He looked away, the unconcealed discomfort on Remus’ face causing his chest to tighten.

Remus cleared his throat, drawing Sirius’ attention back. His face had settled into a teasing expression, every trace of unease hidden. “I’m surprised you didn’t fetch it and bring it back. Padfoot would be ashamed,” he commented blandly, arching an eyebrow as he removed the other shoe. “Need to work on those reflexes Pads, you’re getting sloppy… Maybe I’ll give you some more practice.” 

Sirius bristled, irritated with the instinctual excitement that had arisen at the sight of the shoe in Remus’ hand. 

_Goddamit Padfoot._

Remus’ looked infuriatingly pleased with himself, the corner of his mouth twitching upward as he waved the shoe around. A growl erupted deep in Sirius’ throat. “I’ll show you sloppy–“

Remus’ eyes widened as Sirius stalked towards him. “No… Nooo, BAD DOG–" 

Sirius tackled the other boy, causing him to let out a burst of startled laughter. Remus protested half-heartedly as Sirius wrestled him down to the bed, pinning the lanky prefect’s arms to his side. 

“Look who’s alpha now. Moony would be ashamed.”

“Doesn’t count. I’m weak and impaired,” Remus retorted, making no attempt to remove the boy straddling his stomach. Sirius leaned forward and opened his mouth to respond, but the words died on his tongue as Remus hissed in pain. “Ah! Fuck, Sirius–“

Sirius threw himself back, scrambling off his injured friend. “Oh god, Rem, your rib! I’m sorry, I forgot!” 

Remus cringed, lifting himself up onto his elbows as his breath forced its way through clenched teeth. “S’fine… not the rib, just the muscle.” 

The uncomfortable tension that had settled in Sirius’ chest evaporated in an instant as concern flooded through him. It had only been three days since the last moon. Pomfrey had managed to heal most of the injuries, but that didn’t prevent the muscles and joints from being tender for weeks after. 

He slipped behind Remus, grabbing the nearest pillow as he placed his legs on either side of the other boy. “Here, lean back.”

Remus allowed Sirius to gently guide his head back, his breathing still slightly labored. Sirius kicked himself mentally. How the hell could he have been so stupid?

Sirius found himself staring at the crease that had formed between Remus’ eyebrows, the prefect’s face scrunching as he concentrated on taking in reasonable amounts of air. After a moment of hesitation, Sirius brushed his fingers across Remus’ forehead. The other boy’s breath hitched at the unexpected touch, his brow drawing even further down. Sirius paused for a moment, suddenly feeling inexplicably nervous. 

It wasn’t like this was something new. Both Sirius _and_ James had always been very hands-on in the way they expressed affection, and Remus always sought out their comforting touch after a full moon; it helped him calm down.

_Why did this feel different?_

He found himself wishing he’d never said anything about his preferences to Remus. Things had become so strained between them – so _distant._

But… _he still wanted to help._

Sirius pushed aside the rising unease, letting his hand drift across Remus’ furrowed brow as he soothed out the harsh lines.

Remus’ chest began to rise and fall in an even pattern. He sank further into the pillow, his body relaxing back against Sirius. Sirius fell into a familiar rhythm as he carded through Remus’ soft curls. After a few minutes of quiet, he glanced down. 

Remus was sound asleep, his expression calm and content. Sirius’ gaze was drawn to little details on the werewolf’s face. The feathery scar cutting through his eyebrow, the way his lips naturally curved up at the corners, how his lashes brushed against his cheek, the hollows of his eyes… 

Before he knew what was happening, Sirius’ hand was tracing a light scar along the other boy’s jaw. His fingers tingled as he brushed against Remus’ stubble. 

Out of all the marauder’s, Remus had matured the quickest. At the beginning of the school year, James spent the entire duration of the train-ride lamenting the fact that Remus had shown up at King’s Cross with an impressive five-o-clock shadow, while all he’d managed to grow over the summer was a feathery mustache. 

Sirius traced the scar down along Remus’ neck, halting as it slipped inside the collar of the sleeping werewolf’s checkered jumper. 

~*~

Remus’ breath caught in his throat at Sirius’ sudden touch, heat flaring in his cheeks. He felt the other boy’s body tense as he pulled his hand back, startled. 

_For fuck’s sake Remus, keep it together._

It had been a month since Sirius had confided in them, one _long_ month filled with Sirius slipping out at night and returning to detail his latest conquest in the astronomy tower… behind the herbology greenhouse… in the closet on the third floor… _the room of requirement…_

Remus struggled to keep his face impassive and his breathing steady, cursing inwardly. A month had passed since Sirius had realized he was interested in men – but it had been a _year_ since Remus had realized how he felt about Sirius Black.

Knowing that those feelings would never be reciprocated had made everything simpler. Sirius would never see him that way. He didn’t see _boys_ that way… or so Remus had thought. 

But now, every time he caught Sirius looking at him his heart would race. Every time Sirius hugged him or ruffled his hair he’d suffer a metaphorical aneurism. It was humiliating – _pitiful._

Remus hadn’t thought it possible to despise himself more than he already did, but apparently he was just full of surprises. He hated how much he wanted Sirius to keep touching him. 

_Why was he doing this to himself?_

Sirius fulfilled his unspoken request, his hand finding its way back to his furrowed brow. Remus felt his whole body react to the simple touch.

 _Stop it. He’s just trying to help. He’s your friend – he’s your_ friend _Remus._

Sirius had such soft hands. Remus supposed it was a byproduct of growing up in an aristocratic family. The pain in his side had taken a firm backseat to the calming sensation; It was hard to concentrate on anything with those hands in his hair.

_He’s just a friend._

Sirius was tracing patterns along his scalp, fingers pressing into his temples and making small circular motions. _It felt so nice._ Remus wanted to stay awake, he wanted to enjoy the moment while it lasted, but he was so _tired…_

~*~

Remus had dozed off. His eyes fluttered weakly, but he kept them firmly closed, dreading the blinding light of morning. He didn’t want to get up. 

_Wait…_ something was off. Remus squinted, his eyes barely opening. It was dark, the only light a faint glow from the candle on his bedside. How long had he been asleep? What had happened?

Reality came crashing back to him in the form of Sirius Black’s fingers trailing down his neck. Remus held perfectly still, his mind reeling. Sirius had stopped at his jumper, playing with the material there, his fingers skirting back and forth across Remus’ exposed collarbone.

Suddenly, his hands slipped inside Remus’ shirt, palms rubbing gentle circles into his chest. Remus felt as though he were in some sort of stupor, unable to process what was happening. Heat pooled into his stomach and his mouth dropped open, an involuntary, treacherous gasp escaping his parted lips. 

“Remus? You alright?” Sirius paused, the warmth from his hands radiating through Remus in waves. 

“Yeah,” he responded, his throat tightening around the word so that it came out in a breathless whisper. He cringed and cleared his throat. “Feels nice.” 

Sirius waited a moment more, then resumed where he’d left off. He began to work his way downward, massaging out the sore muscles beneath his collarbone, and trailing down his sternum. Remus had to bite his tongue to keep any other traitorous sounds from escaping.

There was a moment of hesitation, then Sirius’ hands drifted outward, his warm fingers brushing across Remus’ nipples. With a start, Remus shot up. 

Sirius looked as though he’d been slapped across the face. Flushing, Remus turned away and adjusted his shirt, painfully aware of the obvious arousal that he was attempting to hide. He could only pray that Sirius hadn’t noticed. 

“I-I wasn’t trying to…” Sirius whispered, his voice cracking. 

Startled by the timid tone, Remus looked up to find Sirius staring down at his hands, his face pale. 

“Pads… it’s okay, you didn’t hurt me or anything, I just–“ 

“You don’t want me touching you,” Sirius interjected, his stormy eyes pained and accusing.

“I – no, I just…” Remus bit his lip. There was no way he could explain his reaction without exposing himself. 

“I shouldn’t have told you.” 

Remus was taken aback by the blunt statement. “Sirius–“ 

“You’ve been acting like I’m diseased.” Sirius shook his head, his vulnerable expression replaced by a stony mask of indignation. He laughed bitterly, “Just because I like blokes doesn’t mean I’m going to go feeling up my best mates. I’m not some creepy pervert.” 

No no _no,_ this was all wrong. Remus fumbled for words, panic bubbling up inside of him. “Sirius, you don’t understand! I just, I don’t want to… I’m not comfortable with–“

Sirius’ expression darkened as he snapped, “Don’t worry Rem. It’s not _catching_.” 

Remus gaped, the blood draining from his face. “That’s not what I meant!” 

Sirius stood quickly, fury etched in every line of his face. “Oh I know what you meant,” he snarled, snatching up his leather jacket. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to shag every available ponce within a mile radius. Don’t wait up.” 

“My scars!” Remus shouted desperately, grasping onto the first thought to cross the cluttered threshold of his mind. “I – I’m not comfortable with people touching my _scars_.” 

Sirius paused, his hand on the doorknob and his leather-clad back to Remus. For a moment the only sound was their strained breathing, then Sirius’ arm dropped to his side and he turned to face Remus, looking thoroughly chastened. 

“You’re still on about those scars?” He muttered. 

Relieved at having narrowly averted a disaster, Remus nodded, perhaps a little _too_ enthusiastically. 

Sirius sighed, thrusting his hands into his pockets. “Well I feel like an absolute arse.” 

“It’s not your fault. I have terrible communication skills.” 

“No shit.” Sirius scuffed his foot against the floor, still avoiding eye contact. “Why have you been acting so weird around me?” 

Remus’ felt the relief, which had been settling in, vanish. “I guess it’s just been a weird situation.” 

“How so?”

“I dunno,” Remus answered lamely, struggling to find the right words. “I… I’m glad that you’re finally meeting people you’re interested in, but I just miss spending time with you, I guess.” 

It was as though his words had lifted a physical weight off of Sirius’ shoulders. He straightened, a broad grin spreading across his face, “Aw Rem, is someone jealous?” 

Remus felt a tug in his chest, but settled into a deadpanned expression. “Utterly devastated. You’ve ruined me for all other men, Black.” 

Sirius laughed, a month’s worth of worry melting away in an instant. Remus felt a pang of guilt at not having noticed how his attempts to protect himself had been affecting his friend.

“It’s alright Moons, you’ll find a nice bird and move on.” 

The casual words hung in the air, echoing through the silence. The grinning boy in front of Remus was searing a fiery outline into his unblinking vision. His whole body sagged beneath the weight of what he wanted to say. 

_It wouldn’t make any difference._

Even if he did say something, he was logical enough to know that his feelings would never be reciprocated. Remus had seen the boys Sirius was choosing to hook up with – he knew he paled in comparison. Sirius was just as unattainable now as he’d ever been – the only difference was that now Remus wasn’t entirely out of his realm of interest… _he just wasn’t good enough._

Apparently the inner turmoil had made itself known outwardly. Remus looked up to find Sirius’ face inches from his own. “You hurting again?” 

“Um, yes.” Remus lied, fighting the urge to do something he’d regret and close the distance between them. 

“Where?”

“My… my back.” The words tumbled out of his mouth as he struggled to avert his eyes from Sirius’ lips. 

Sirius sighed, biting the very lip that Remus was trying so hard to avoid. “Hey, why don’t you take off your shirt and lie down?” 

“… What?”

“I’ve been told I’m a brilliant masseuse.” Sirius grinned, plucking at Remus’ jumper. At Remus’ obvious hesitation his eyes rolled up to the ceiling and back down to cast him an exasperated look, “Don’t make me sing an ode to the badassery of scars–” 

“Bugger off.” Remus smiled in spite of himself, his heart racing. 

Sirius tugged again at his shirt, quirking a brow. “I’ll let you choose between lotion, oil, or melted chocolate.” 

“… Alright, you’ve convinced me.” 

Sirius laughed warmly, and it sounded wonderful. “Off we go.” 

With one expert motion that left very little to the imagination concerning Sirius’ _expertise,_ Remus found himself shirtless and lying face-down on the bed. He adjusted himself as Sirius crossed the room to sift through his trunk, thanking every god he could think of that his arousal was effectively hidden. 

Sirius Black was about to give him a massage. Maybe, for this _one moment,_ he could just let himself enjoy it. 

~*~

After rummaging through his trunk to find the scented oil Marlene had, _unknowingly,_ gifted him, Sirius hopped back onto the bed, throwing his leg over Remus. He settled himself down carefully, eyeing the boy beneath him for any signs of discomfort or pain. 

“Your arse alright?”

Remus chuckled into the mattress. “You tell me, I don’t see it very often.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes and pinched the topic of conversation, causing Remus to yelp. 

“Gah, careful! That’s the only part of me that wasn’t bruised!”

Sirius grinned, unscrewing the lid of the oil. The faint smell of lavender permeated the air. Remus stiffened as Sirius poured a small amount of the oil onto his back. 

“Cold.”

“Sorry mate,” Sirius laughed, quickly rubbing it in. Remus’ skin was on fire, which might have concerned Sirius if he hadn’t already had a thorough education on the werewolf condition. The first time he’d had a chance to properly touch Remus, he’d spent a solid five minutes in a state of panic, drawing up a cold bath and ignoring Remus’ monotonous repetition of “I don’t have a fever Sirius. I just run a little hot. Merlin, put down the thermometer!” 

Sirius smiled at the memory as he trailed his hands down Remus’ spine and pressed outward, working his way back up. The other boy sighed with pleasure.

“God…”

“Sirius is fine.”

“Piss off.” Remus laughed weakly. 

Sirius trailed his hands gently down Remus’ ribs. He could have fit his fingers in-between each one. It always scared him how emaciated Remus became after the full moon. Sighing, Sirius pressed his palms beneath Remus’ shoulder blades, “Merlin Rem, these knots are mental.” 

“It’s like I tear myself apart once a month or something.” 

Sirius shook his head in disbelief. “Looks like this is going to become a regular thing then isn’t it? I don’t know how you even stand upright.” 

“Just a flesh wound,” Remus mumbled into the blanket, his voice heavy with exhaustion. 

Sirius fell silent, working his way across Remus’ back. Every once in a while he’d be rewarded with a muffled thank you. Sirius almost laughed after the seventh expression of gratitude from beneath him. He’d never met someone who said thank you as much as Remus did…

~*~

_“Th-thank you.” Remus sobbed, his eyes nearly swollen shut from crying. “I can’t believe you d-did this… No one’s ever done something like this for me.”_

_Sirius had never seen another human go through such a broad range of unbridled emotion. Remus’ lanky body was shaking so badly he looked like he might fall apart at the seams. It was adorable and heart wrenching all at once._

_“Please, you’re our best mate,” James laughed, slapping Remus on the back and cringing when Remus nearly fell over, “Fuck, sorry.”  
_

__

__

_“I th-thought, if you knew… if any of you ever found out – ” Remus could barely get the words out. “I was so scared.”_

_Sirius shook his head quickly, aching at the gaunt expression on Remus’ face. “Don’t be daft.”_

_“Why would you ever think that Moons?” Peter chided, his round face scrunched in concern._

_“Thank y-you,“ Remus stuttered, still shaking his head. He kept repeating the words, his voice trailing off as he looked at each of the boys before him. Suddenly, his eyes widened._

_“What?” Sirius stepped forward, startled by the dawning look of horror on Remus’ face._

_“You’re breaking so many laws!” Remus almost howled, burying his face in his hands as the weight of the situation finally hit him._

_There was a moment of silence, then all three boys burst into laughter, drowning out Remus’ weak protests._

_“Pretty standard mate,” James grinned, wrapping an arm around Remus and pulling him into a suffocating hug. “We’ll risk a short stay in Azkaban to see that glowing smile of yours.”_

_“You’re all fucking idiots.” Remus laughed tearfully, looking like he was verging on hysterics._

_“All kinds of stupid.” Sirius agreed, smirking. “But now we’re also hella badass.”_

_“You’re going to be the death of me.”_

~*~

Sirius slowed, his hands trailing absently across Remus as his thoughts drifted back over the years. He couldn’t remember a moment when his friend _hadn’t_ been overwhelmed by a simple act of kindness.

… It made him sad. 

The list of things he admired about Remus went on and on, yet Remus couldn’t think of a single trait to be proud of. It was infuriating. 

Remus was so clever. He always knew how to solve any given problem. James, Sirius and Peter had a knack for planning grand, and _utterly_ nonsensical, pranks – Remus was always the one who made them attainable. 

He was also deceptively mischievous. Sure, he would protest and play the voice of reason, but Sirius knew how much he actually enjoyed getting involved and seeing their plots come to fruition. The wicked glint in his eyes, which he was quick to conceal, had always delighted Sirius. 

He found himself slipping down a familiar slope as his mind flooded with thoughts of Remus. He couldn’t help but fall when he started… there was so much to praise.

_Why couldn’t he see it?_

Anytime Remus caught sight of his reflection in a mirror, his pace would slow and his shoulders would sag. He never stayed in front of it for long. Sirius just couldn’t understand it. He liked the way Remus looked. He was tall and a bit lanky, but that wasn’t a _bad_ thing. He looked slender, and Sirius found his long neck… _aesthetic._ Whenever Remus turned his head, a line would appear, leading down to the prominent collarbones that peaked out of his oversized jumpers. 

Sirius absently traced up Remus’ neck, tangling his fingers in the light brown curls. Remus’ hair had gotten so shaggy. Every morning he would drag himself out of bed, the curls flattened on one side and bouncing freely on the other. Sirius always found himself wanting to ruffle them. 

The prefect had such soft eyes in the evenings, worn out from the day and drooping with fatigue as he curled up by the fire. The flickering light from the flames would cause his honey brown eyes to glow, and he could never keep them open when he laughed, his smile was too big… 

_Merlin,_ Sirius couldn’t get enough of his smile. His teeth were mostly even, except for the one by his canine, which stuck out at a bit of an angle. When paired with the scar that cut through to his chin, his smile appeared a bit crooked. 

_His scars…_

Sirius’s fingertips passed idly over smooth skin, their wandering occasionally interrupted by raised, angry marks.

It was like a painting, each line curving across the canvas of his body. Sirius could trace them for hours, his eyes roving from one mark to the next in a continuous pattern. The light they captured, and the shadows they cast gave Remus a texture that no one else possessed. It was mesmerizing. 

He wished Remus could see how deserving he was of praise. He wished he would realize how much he meant to the marauders. 

_He wished Remus realized how much he meant to him._

“Sirius?” 

Sirius’ eyes came back into focus, his heart pounding in his ears. His hands had stopped moving, the thoughts dragging him away from his current task. He shook his head and resumed, breathing strained. 

He passed over a large scar beneath Remus’ shoulder-blade. His fingers twitched. Slowly, he followed the path the scar had made, trailing over the healed, smooth tissue. It was a fairly new scar, raised and white against his skin, and it didn’t seem to end. It crossed over his spine, dipping down further and further… disappearing beneath the waistband of his jeans. 

Sirius stared, his ears ringing. _He wanted to see where it ended._

Remus shifted beneath him, the muscles in his back moving and pulling at the scar. He turned his head to glance back at Sirius. “Everything alright?” 

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, and instead started coughing as air rushed into his lungs. Apparently he’d forgotten how to breathe.

“Hey,” Remus smiled that crooked smile, casting Sirius a pitying look, “We can stop now. I feel a lot better.” 

“No!” the word burst out of Sirius’ mouth perhaps a little too aggressively. Remus threw him a startled look. Sirius cleared his throat, acutely aware of how tight it was. “I… I’m not done. I need to work on your lower back.” 

Remus raised himself up, twisting to prop his head on his hand as he eyed Sirius. “You already did.” 

Sirius was having a hard time looking Remus in the eye, his mind still fixated on the scar. “Doesn’t really work if I – if I don’t release… your glutes.”

Remus stared, his expression incredulous. “My… _glutes_.” 

Sirius gaped, struggling to process the rubbish that he’d just spewed. “James! James said that the lower back links directly to the… _yeah,_ and that if you don’t release the muscles there, it will keep pulling your spine out of place.” 

“James said that.” 

“Quidditch Captain. He knows weird shit.” 

Remus’ expression was unreadable. Sirius could feel the panic rising inside of him as the silence dragged on. He _needed_ to see where that scar ended. 

“Hop off.”

Sirius scrambled off of Remus, feeling strangely jittery. Without another word, Remus stood, his back to Sirius. Sirius watched as he unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down over his briefs. As he did, the briefs slipped down ever-so-slightly, revealing more of the scar. Sirius felt his mouth go dry. 

Still facing away from Sirius, Remus rested himself back on the bed. No words passed between them as Sirius gazed at the man stretched out below him. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Remus with so little clothes, except after a full moon, but Sirius had never been able to really take in his appearance then – there was too much blood and he was too caught up in worry. 

Now that Sirius could get a proper look, he had to admit… Remus had an _amazing_ ass. 

_Wait, what the fuck was he thinking!?_

Sirius shook his head, positively sweating. Determined to quickly push through the bizarre, yet not entirely unpleasant warmth that had risen in his stomach, Sirius leaned back over Remus and set himself to work. 

His hands dug into the other boy’s lower back, pressing downward. He used his knuckles to knead out the stiff muscles there. Remus hadn’t moved since Sirius started, but his body was slowly tensing. His fingers twitched, balling into fists and clutching at the sheets beneath him. 

Sirius’ face was now so hot that it was making him dizzy. Merlin, he was going to give himself brain-damage.

In spite of his efforts to concentrate on the task at hand, his fevered gaze kept drifting back to the scar. Desperate, he dragged his palms down, pulling the briefs just enough to reveal a _little_ bit more. Sirius almost groaned in frustration as the scar kept going, but was cut off by a soft sound from Remus. 

Sirius froze, his mind suddenly blank. Remus’ eyes were shut tight, a strained expression on his face, his mouth parted just enough for the sound to escape. Sirius watched, fascinated, as the tips of his ears turned bright red, his mouth snapping shut.

 _He wanted to hear that sound again._

Blood pulsing in his ears, Sirius dragged his fingers downward, _slowly,_ eliciting an audible gasp from Remus. 

Sirius felt his entire body go numb. Almost drunk off of his need to draw more from the boy he was straddling, he threw caution to the wind, sliding his fingers over the curve of Remus’ ass and skirted lightly and teasingly between his legs. A small convulsion swept through Remus’ body. His mouth dropped fully open and he quickly buried his face in the sheets, his arms reaching up to clutch at the material there as he ground his lower half into the mattress.

 _“Fuck!”_

Sirius didn’t know if the desperate word had come from him or Remus, but at the sound of it, something inside him clicked. 

_He wanted Remus…_

The realization hit him like a bludger to the head. What kind of wanker just sat there staring at a bloke for hours, memorizing the details of his face, and assumed it was just because he admired him as a “friend”. He was such an idiot!

 _He liked Remus Lupin._

Shit, this was bad. Remus wasn’t like that. _Remus wasn’t_ – Sirius faltered, the panic building inside of him fading just as quickly as it had come.

_What kind of wanker stares at a bloke for hours –_

Remus stared too. Sirius had seen him, but had never given it much thought. Anytime they were together, he always found himself looking up to match Remus’ golden eyes.

Sirius felt his chest tighten. He’d assumed that Remus had been avoiding him for the last month because he was uncomfortable with Sirius’ sexuality, but what if it was for another reason? 

_… Why did Remus react like that when Sirius touched him?_

Remus’ face was still buried in the sheets, his hips pressed firmly against the bed as if trying to keep himself from moving. Blood pounding in his ears, Sirius shifted, placing his knee between the other boy’s legs. Remus’ stiffened, clutching the sheets in his white-knuckled grip as if they were the only thing keeping him grounded. 

Sirius’ tongue flicked out to wet his lips, sweat breaking out on his brow. He leaned forward, digging his fingertips into Remus’ hips for leverage as he slid his leg up, pressing it against the werewolf. 

Remus melted beneath him, letting out a muffled groan. Sirius almost choked, his stomach tightening. _Remus was making those sounds because of him._ The sight of Remus spread out before him, looking so gorgeously depraved, was more than Sirius could handle.

~*~ 

Remus’ mind was filled with white-noise. He’d just let out the most humiliating sound, and he would have been dying inwardly if Sirius’ knee wasn’t pressed up between his legs. The other boy’s soft, and alarmingly strong hands were on his hips, and the raging boner he’d had for the last goddam _hour_ was now pressed painfully against the mattress, making him dizzy with need. 

_Why was Sirius doing this!?_ He was going to lose his mind. 

Remus didn’t have much time to process the situation. Sirius leaned over him, pushing his hips further into the mattress and holding them in place. Remus bit back a whimper as something brushed against his lower back. With a start, he felt Sirius’ lips press against his spine. 

_What the hell was happening!?_

“Sirius, what are y–“ Remus panted, lifting his head and craning to look back at the boy straddling him. His voice caught in his throat at the look on Sirius’ face. 

“Do you want me to stop?” 

It took a moment for the words to find their way through the haze that had settled in Remus’ mind. Sirius’ hooded grey eyes were gazing back at him, his barely-controlled breathing searing Remus’ skin. 

“… No.” 

Sirius let out a warm gust of air from his nose, then pulled Remus down towards him. Remus gasped as Sirius slipped his arms around his waist, pressing his own warm body into Remus’ back. His head swam as Sirius’ scent enveloped him, lips pressing open-mouthed kisses across his shoulders and along his neck, his breath hot in Remus’ ear. 

Remus had played a scenario like this over in his mind so many different ways, but nothing he had imagined could compare to what he was experiencing. Every kiss, every caress he had visualized couldn’t prepare him for the way Sirius was touching him now. Remus almost cried out as Sirius’ locked an arm around his waist, braced his other hand on the bed, and lifted him into an upright kneeling position. 

He blushed furiously, the bulge in his pants now uncomfortably exposed. Sirius glanced down over Remus’ shoulder, and he could feel a grin stretch across his face, his mouth sliding up Remus’ neck to whisper in his ear, “So that’s why you wouldn’t turn around.”

“You’re such a git.” Remus grumbled, covering his burning face with his hands. Sirius laughed, the sound vibrating through him, and reached up to guide Remus’ hands back down. 

“Hold still.” He whispered, causing Remus to tremble. 

Time seemed to slow as Sirius guided Remus’ head to the side placing burning kisses everywhere he could reach… under his ear, along his jaw. His firm grip held Remus in place as he brushed his thumb across his bottom lip.

Sirius slipped his other hand under Remus’ arm, his touch trailing lazily across the prefect’s chest. Nipping lightly at Remus’ ear, Sirius brushed against his nipples. 

Remus’ felt the air catch in his lungs, the sensations overwhelming him. He was so far gone he could barely function, his body simply reacting as he arched his back involuntarily, desperate for more contact.

“Jesus, Pads–” Remus panted against Sirius’ fingers as they continued to trace his bottom lip. Fucking hell, how did he know how to do so many things at once!? _How did he know exactly how to drive Remus crazy?_

In one fluid motion, Sirius lifted Remus’ arms over his head to hook around his neck, then leaned forward, letting his freed hands drop down between Remus’ legs. Remus bucked, gasping as Sirius dragged his nails up along his inner thighs, teasing him, touching everywhere but where Remus wanted him to touch the most. 

Remus didn’t know where this Sirius had come from, a Sirius who suddenly seemed to want him, but at least he knew it was real. Pads was never this much of a shit in his dreams.

Sirius grasped Remus’ hips, his arousal now very apparent from where it was pressed up against Remus. Remus let his head drop back onto Sirius’ shoulder, a strangled sound erupting from him as Sirius ground up against him, panting into the nape of his neck.

Sirius paused, toying with the waistband of Remus’ briefs.

“Want me to?” His voice was hoarse, strained, as if it was taking everything in him to hold back. Remus lifted his head, turning to glance at the boy over his shoulder. 

“ _Please_ do.” 

Sirius snorted, his face cracking into a broad grin as he sloppily crashed into Remus’ own mouth, causing Remus’ eyes to sting. Well, he guessed _everything_ couldn’t be smooth. How perfectly fitting that their first kiss would be a disaster. 

_Their first kiss…_

Remus’ eyes flew open. He pulled back, taking in Sirius’ face. Sirius glanced at him questioningly, but Remus couldn’t make a sound. Instead, he reached up, cupping Sirius’ face in his hand and pulling him closer until their lips were almost touching. 

Everything had happened so quickly Remus hadn’t had a chance to truly look at Sirius… Jesus, they hadn’t even had a chance to properly kiss yet and they were about to–

_What if that’s all this was?_

Remus felt his hand quaver against Sirius’ chin. What if this was just another shag? What if Remus was just… convenient? He stared into the other boy’s eyes, dread rising in the pit of his stomach as he searched desperately for something to tell him otherwise. 

Sirius’ shifted slightly, the intensity of Remus’ gaze making him uneasy. “Rem… we don’t have to.”

The werewolf felt a thrill of panic pass through him at the words. _What if he never had this chance again?_ Remus almost caved on the spot. He’d wanted Sirius for so long, too fucking long… 

_But not if it didn’t mean anything._

“M’ sorry if – if I moved too fast.” Sirius’s voice was hushed, small, as he drew back into himself. “We really don’t have to… not right now. I can wait until you’re ready.” 

The dread that had been rising, threatening to drown him, suddenly halted in its raging progression. Remus hesitated, his breathing shallow as he struggled to regain his calm, his eyes flickering from Sirius’ worried eyes to his lips. 

He said he could wait… he wanted this again. He wanted _him_ again. 

Well, Remus wanted him _now._

Tightening his grip on Sirius’ chin, Remus pulled him in. Sirius’ response was muffled by Remus’ tongue slipping into his mouth.

With a growl of frustration and renewed vigor, Sirius jerked Remus by the hips, spinning him around so they could face each other. Finally able to look at Sirus straight on, Remus felt his soul leave his body. He’d wanted this for a year… longer, if he was being honest with himself. Wrapped up in Sirius’ arms, their bodies were so close he couldn’t tell where he ended and Sirius began. Remus tentatively brushed the damp hair from Sirius’ brow, his vision blurring. 

Oh no… _don’t you dare cry._

Remus felt a thrill of terror at the thought of breaking down and blubbering all over Sirius. He’d rather throw himself off of the astronomy tower. Mortified, Remus coughed, struggling to quell the tightening in his throat. 

Sirius’ expression was unreadable, his eyes raking across Remus’ panicking face. His grasp on the werewolf tightened as he pulled him closer. Remus felt frighteningly exposed. 

Sirius brushed his lips against Remus’, his tongue flicking out experimentally. Remus’ eyes closed in response, his whole body tingling. Sirius pulled him down, deepening the kiss.

_Fuck, he tasted good._

Remus caught Sirius’ tongue, letting it slide slowly between his teeth. Sirius’ kissing suddenly became more desperate, aggressive. Remus smirked at the reaction, lightly nipping at the boy’s lip and was rewarded with a breathless laugh. Diving in again, Remus took Sirius’ bottom lip between his teeth and bit down enough to cause him to hiss. 

_He liked that sound._

Sirius reached down between them, slipping once again beneath the waistband of Remus’ briefs as he panted, “A’right?” 

Remus grinned, Sirius lip still caught in his teeth.

“If you’re sure.” Sirius struggled to speak, his words slurring.

Remus released him, “Trust me… I’m sure.” 

~*~

Everything escalated into a flurry of fumbling and cursing as both boys struggled to remove the other’s clothing as quickly as possible. Sirius raised his arms, allowing Remus to whip his black t-shirt up over his head and toss it unceremoniously onto the floor. Growling, Remus moved on to his jeans, and Sirius felt a thrill rush through him. 

Once they were both stripped of the last irritating articles of clothing, Sirius’ eyes widened, taking Remus in. “Holy shit.” 

“What?” Remus panted, his eyes wild with need, all coherent thought apparently having fled from his mind. Sirius bit his tongue, not wanting to distract him… but like… holy shit. 

_Score._

The werewolf snarled, his eyes raking over Sirius’ exposed flesh with a hungry, almost predatory look, catching Sirius off guard. He reached out, dragging Sirius toward him, his fingers tangling in his silky black hair and tugging, causing Sirius to moan into his mouth. 

Remus snapped at the sound, his pupils dilating as his eyes flashed amber, and he roughly pulled Sirius’ head back, exposing his pale neck. Sirius almost cried out, gasping in pain and bewilderment. He’d never seen Remus like this… _Fuck,_ he’d never been so turned on in his _life._

Remus’ gaze bore into the other boy as his teeth scraped across his neck. Frantic, Sirius tilted his hips forward, a whine slipping from his mouth at the friction their erections caused.

In one fluid motion, Remus was on top of him. Sirius’ back arched, his hips bucking and his nails dragging across Remus’ back as the other boy rutted against him, his jaw dropping open. Remus reached down, gripping them both in one hand, and stroked. 

“Rem–“ Sirius voice was strangled, his vision blurring white at the edges as Remus picked up the pace, setting into a rhythm as he nipped at Sirius collarbone. Hair clinging in sweaty tendrils to his forehead and dripping down his jaw, Remus groaned and buried his face in Sirius’ neck, panting. 

Sirius’ clutched at him, pulling him closer as he traced his scars, subconsciously memorizing the details. The heat of Remus’ body, his touch, his breath was overwhelming Sirius’ senses. The rhythm became erratic as they drew closer, bodies heaving against each other. Sirius convulsed, and Remus dragged his face away from the nape of Sirius’ neck, panting as he stared down at him, _watching._

~*~

He was so beautiful. Remus could feel the waves rushing through him as Sirius’ eyes rolled back, his mouth dropping open and his arms flying up to grip the sheets. His inky black hair was clinging to his face, muscles tensing and trembling as he lost control. Sirius Black came, thrusting up into Remus’ grip. 

Remus pumped his hand a few more times, causing Sirius to jerk from oversensitivity, slowly coming down from the high. He then focused on himself, the image of Sirius burned into his retinas. Remus gasped, a shudder coursing through him as Sirius’ glazed eyes fixated on him, stealing the air from his lungs as he quickly followed suit. 

Sirius smiled tiredly as Remus sagged against him, all of his energy spent. The high ebbed slowly, the sweat drying on their bodies as they lay, exhausted, Sirius carding his fingers through Remus’ hair. The boys regained their breath in tandem, chests rising and falling against each other. After a blissful moment of stillness, Remus rolled off to the side. Sirius turned to nuzzle his nose into Remus’ neck, humming contentedly. They remained like this for a moment, silent and sleepy. 

Then, reality set in. 

Remus stared at the canvas above him, struggling to process what had just happened. 

_What the hell had they just done?_

He turned slowly to find Sirius staring at him, his face looking just as troubled as Remus felt. 

“Sirius…”

“Was it okay?”

Remus almost laughed outright, disbelief lacing his voice as he reassured, “It was more than okay. Much, much, _much_ more than okay.” 

Sirius smiled, his whole face lighting up. Remus forgot how to breathe for a moment. 

“Are you okay?” He whispered, hoping that the quaver in his voice would go unnoticed. “Is this… us, _like this_ … okay?” 

Sirius took a moment to respond, a heart-stopping moment that left Remus aching with apprehension. When he did, his words coursed over Remus, washing away whatever fears he’d had left. 

“This is _much_ more than okay.” 

~*~

 _Bloody Hell._

Sirius opened his eyes, groggy with sleep. 

_He hadn’t had a chance to see where the scar ended._

Sighing, Sirius glanced up at the boy he was wrapped around. Remus face was calm, peaceful, a small trail of drool dribbling onto his pillow. Sirius suddenly felt far too overwhelmed to speak, taking in the boy next to him. 

_There was always next time._


End file.
